Why You’re Playing Tug of War with the Things You REALLY Want

Lately I had been experiencing a lot of resistance and was allowing my ego to ruminate in my defeat and lack of “success”. What I noticed was that would catch myself in a silly mind game where I told myself, “Think positive. You have the ability to shift your mindset. I’m irritated because I know I can shift my mindset, but I don’t really want to. It’s ok to be angry, allow yourself to be angry. But I don’t want to be angry; think positive.” And around and around we went.


Nothing could truly get me out of my funk, despite some exciting successes, experiences, and opportunities. Those were my “good days”, but my energy wanted to naturally resonate with negativity. Finally, I took a step back and found three major things that helped me shift my energy.


You’re Focusing on Things From A Place of Lack

When we think about the Law of Attraction, we know that everything is really two topics: having it and lacking it. I was spending so much energy on trying to focus my point of attraction around wealth, happiness, abundance etc, that I finally realized I was really just coming from a place of 100% lack.

  • I wanted money…because I didn’t have enough

  • I wanted happiness…because I wasn’t

  • I wanted success…because I felt defeat

  • I needed clients…because I didn’t have enough

So I refocused my thoughts on the little things that didn’t have any resistance. For me, it was coconuts. I love them, there are many different kinds of coconuts, they have many health benefits, what a strange edible thing they are, but oh so delicious, they can be eaten, used as a nourishing drink, and even used as clothing for women. How versatile…so on and so forth. I spent 2-3 minutes a day each time I found myself overthinking to refocus my energy back to coconuts, and within two days, VOILA! My friend randomly invites me over to have what? Yes, coconuts.


Another way to quickly break resistance is through quieting the mind through meditation and going into sleep. When the physical mind stops computing, calculating, and analyzing, you can stop the momentum behind the negativity snowball. Even if you can quiet your mind for 5 minutes, you have started to refocus your attention and change your point of attraction.

You’re Taking Life Too Seriously

Why does it seem that things were a lot easier as a child? It’s because you weren’t focusing on all the seriousness of life. Start PLAYING with life. Start saying to yourself, “Everything happens WITH reason" and start anticipating the fun in what the Universe will throw at you today. Find the reason you're having this experience. You might find the Universe has quite a sense of humor if you’re willing to play along.


Life is a game, and you get to choose which one. Your life’s game might feel the need to conquer, so you choose Battleship, or money (Monopoly), strategy (Chess) or you might just leave it up to luck (Chutes and Ladders—heck at least when you “lose” you get to go down an awesome slide). What type of game are you playing?


You’re Misusing Your Language

Again, we know that everything is really two subjects: having and lacking. This doesn’t just stop at our thoughts, it’s very evident in our language. Let’s look at some of the common things that we use to establish our goals, intent, and desires:

  • I Should = But I don’t want to

  • I Need = I don't have

  • I Want = Because I lack

  • I can’t = Obvious

When we use these words, we’re actually focusing our attention to the fact that we don’t have it, and thus push it even further away. Try replacing these words with:

  • I have

  • I create

  • I love

  • I enjoy

  • I anticipate

  • I look forward to

No, by doing this I didn’t magically manifest a million dollars overnight, or instant success, nor were all my problems solved, but I sure did start getting more done by doing less—all while enjoying it.


Oh, and you get more coconuts.

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© 2018 CamJean Coaching & Consulting, LLC.

Camala Beek, CPC, ELI-MP 

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